30-year-old wife refuses to let husband use her fancy soap, he buys his own to get revenge on her, while the internet debates who’s crazier: “It’s heartwarming to see two psychopaths find each other”

Author image for Briana Viser
Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
May 13, 2025 12:00 PM EDT

By jove! It's you again. Look, I know we had some great times together, but it's becoming a bit much. This relentless obsession with Cheezcake humor, memes, and dramatic Reddit stories is only a small part of life. It's time to move on and find a hobby. Just kidding, please stay and read everything because you have nothing better to do anyway. Our relationship is absolutely mutual, despite how I try to feign aloofness and apathy about it. Please stay. 

Marriage is a long and arduous road. It's what we all dream of, what all the Disney princesses want at 16, and what every soul wants deep down. Everyone wants love. "The greatest gift you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return," said a certain face-painted man while hanging from the top of an auditorium from a certain movie. The point is that as ubiquitous as it is, love is just as beautiful as it is complicated, and the story below is a perfect representation of that. 

In the story below, a married couple gets into a fight about…soap. Yes, you heard me right. So if you want to laugh, cry, and be grateful you're single read the full story below. 

Add as a preferred
source on Google
Advertisement
  • 01

    AITA for not respecting fancy soap policy in our bathroom and accidentally starting a soap-based arms race?

    Cheezburger Image 10504194304
    via kutaytanir from Getty Images Signature / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    So my wife (30F) bought this absurdly expensive soap from some a little shop. It came in a tiny frosted glass bottle, wrapped in twine. With ridiculous branding like "hints of pine, regret, and artisanal disapointment" or something like that. She placed it on the bathroom counter and told me "This is for quests". We dont have quests. Ever.
    via u/pizza_col_cazzo

  • What's with this couple? Who fights over soap, who has soap wars? The only thing I can say is that even if they're petty, they're petty together. They have each other to go through life and fight over soap, and whatever else they fight about. 

  • 03
    Ok, maybe once every 2 months. I told her that, but apparently the idea of a guest potentially seeing that we use commoner soap is too horrifying to bear. So the fancy soap was enshrined like the Mona Lisa, untouched.
    via u/pizza_col_cazzo
  • 04
    Fast forward: I run out of my regular cheapo soap which came in a cracked plastic bottle with a pump that wheezed like a d_ng guinea pig. So, in a moment of desperation and dirty hands I dared to touch the holy grail. Was halfway
    via u/pizza_col_cazzo
  • 05
    through using a single pump of the fancy soap when she walked in looking at me as if I was defiling the sacred artifact or microwaving the Fabergé egg.
    via u/pizza_col_cazzo
  • 06
    She said I was wasting it and that it's not for everyday hands. I was ped. Then I did the unthinkable: I went out and bought my own fancy soap. $30. Grapefruit and cedar, smells like if a lumberjack went to therapy. I put it proudly on my side
    via u/pizza_col_cazzo
  • 07
    Cheezburger Image 10504193536
    via jonathansloane from Getty Images Signature / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 08
    of the sink. I declared that this is my new soap and only I have a right to use it. Suddenly, it's Cold War: Soap Edition.
    via u/pizza_col_cazzo
  • 09
    That evening I saw over her shoulder she was searching more soap bottles on etsy. Like she wanted revenge! At this point I now want to invite some guests over to make sure they use my fancy soap and not her haha !Now she's mad I'm mocking her and says I'm
    via u/pizza_col_cazzo
  • 10
    turning cleanliness into a competition. I told her she started the soap caste system, I just refused to be born into the lower class. She hasn't spoken to me in two days. But I smell amazing. Tell me AITA?
    via u/pizza_col_cazzo
  • 11
    OhThatOneGuy1 It's always heartwarming to see two psychopaths find each other and fall in love. God speed to the both you!
    via u/OhThatOneGuy1
  • 12
    Pseudo-Data Please, OP put your soap in a clear box with a small lock <bonus points for fancy ribbon or dressing around the box>. Wear the key on a long chain around your neck.
    via u/Pseudo-Data
  • 13
    MuntjackDrowning Real talk...I would buy expensive soap labeled as "Hints of pine, regret, and artisanal disappointment", in a second. I'd leave a calligraphy note on absurdly extensive linen paper saying, "Please
    via u/MuntjackDrowning
  • 14
    wash away your filth with my bougie aspirations. You are most welcome for my thoughtful generosity."
    via u/MuntjackDrowning
  • 15
    corvus_corone_corone Can I just say, I hope you and your wife have many, many more issues you want to write about. This is SO hilariously well written! I am in tears. Literally. Thanks for giving me a laugh! NTA
    via u/corvus_corone_corone
  • 16
    RecognitionNew3122 Ironically I have a fancy soap bottle with crappy soap in it. People are fooled by the packaging and think they're getting quality, when in fact could well be getting dish soap. Escalate the war with
    via u/RecognitionNew3122
  • 17
    Cheezburger Image 10504194048
    via Aleksandra Knezevic from Getty Images Signature / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 18
    cheapness. Dont be around when she realises she's been secretly using your expensive soap on the qt and it's a con.
    via u/RecognitionNew3122
  • 19
    EvoSP1100 Now get a towel and tell her. she can't use it, but never use it yourself.
    via u/EvoSP1100
  • 20
    Wise-Foundation4051 "It smells like if a lumberjack went to therapy"
    via u/Wise-Foundation4051
  • 21
    ButterscotchHour7359 At least you won't have any problems thinking of a Christmas gift this year ... get her the most fanciest schmanciest expensive soap you can find at like 100 bucks a bottle... she can't even get mad you only got her soap
    via u/ButterscotchHour7359
  • 22
    Erik0xff0000 We'll be expecting weekly updates in this soap-opera
    via u/Erik0xff0000
  • 23
    Pale Guarantee_2622 Go one step further... you have your cedarlicious soap, she has her hints of artisanal soap, get a third bottle... the ultimate posh soap some tears of angels sh for the never seen guests. Rank it up a notch!
    via u/Pale Guarantee_2622

Tags

marriage drama soap petty revenge relationships petty lol love family reddit thread Reddit funny dating
Scroll Down For The Next Article